But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
if i died would you start the facebook group?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Guess who has two thumbs and just fell outta his car and almost peed himself
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
Randomize
