it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
I fell out of the car while it was moving then got puked on then puked and cried about then got back in the car and puked out the window when we started moving again
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
so apparently over the course of the night my roommate and i had sex in exactly the same spot. ps the downstairs sink needs cleaning.
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
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