In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
Even my vagina gasped.
If you've ever wanted to get filthy in a Catholic church before 2 on a Wednesday, I might be your guy.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I am watching the most amazing drunk person ever. Literally such a trooper that you can put anything in front of him he'll drink it. His latest reason for taking another shot was: well whatever. I'm never gonna get married anyway.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
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