gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
He was humming "here comes Peter cottontail" while unbuttoning his pants. Happy Easter to me
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Randomize
