"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
woke up on my stairs with half a hot dog beside me and the last text I sent was "i make hot dog in toasTer" .
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Nothing like a little anal leakage to start off Sunday morning. Can't decide if that speaks well of my weekend or not...
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
Do the molecules within bourbon change when mixed with a cola to form a superior liquid treat?
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
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