We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
Thanks to that wedding, I got to use the term "finger bang" more than I have since high school.
Yeah I don't remember how I got home last night
Judging from my pants, I embarrassed myself smh
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Lady Gaga is doing the 1/2 time show. I hope it's gay and liberal as fuck.
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
Did you really kidnap my goldfish last night?
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