yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
This should be a warning to men everywhere: do not send pictures of your erect penis to women you hardly know - they will add cats and send them to all of their friends.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Randomize
