ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
He tried to make an olympic torch by lighting a corona box on top of a pool cleaner.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Sorry I totally pulled a home invasion on you last night
That was super inconsiderate of me
You went on the date? His pickup line was I swear I'm not a serial killer and you went on the date???
Randomize
