He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
Just did a "spirit of homecoming" bump off a stranger's credit card. A stranger that dropped us off at home. Erica's bad. How do allllll of the Eastern Europeans know how to find drugs so easily?!?
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
