Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
He threw up. He never throws up. It was like finding out superman cant fly anymore. I was so sad for him.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Not as awesome as someone telling you that you have the biggest tits they've ever seen. And they're like 30-something, so they've seen a decent amount of tits in their lifetime.
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Nothing says "Hello, Adulthood!" quite like receiving a dick photo at 11AM from a guy you haven't heard from since fifth grade.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
My dad told me I would need to be my mom's DD tonight. So, that's how my Easter weekend is going down.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
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