When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
the pub in dfw airport has a countdown timer to st. pattys day, to the second, i like texas
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
He whinnies like a horse when he's cumming. I wish I would have known this before we got into a relationship.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
Randomize