you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
Operation Purity has been aborted
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
Randomize
