She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
Just sold this kid "Magic Furry Apples". He is way to high to figure out they are just peaches.
At least he's a nutritious stoner...
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
So much rum. So many feels.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
I just gotta say that I feel so much better now that I got some. I mean I feel like a normal functioning adult ready to contribute to society.
I need a hobby that isn't dick related
It's three am. I'm drunk in a stairwell in Vegas. My flight leaves at six. Help.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
