Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i hate that you can chart my weight gain through my facebook pictures.
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
You kept saying "this bitch", mumbled incoherently for like 5 minutes, took a shot, and kept going.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
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