i feel like i'm waiting in line to date brett michaels
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
this blows. i told the guy at the bar that i was the DD and it was like i just announced over megaphone that i had genital herpes. no one will talk to me now.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
