Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
I just saw a fat chick walking across campus talking to herself and licking her lips. Diet season is scary.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I'm not sure whom I'm texting but I put you in my phone as last nights fuck budy, and I'm just curious if I left my clutch with you?
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
The streets are paved with hand jobs
Randomize
