And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
