dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
