I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
Thanksgiving. A stoners favorite holiday
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
i need you to come over and tell me if you can notice that i'm only wearing a teddy underneath my trenchcoat
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
