Making out with married ex girlfriends: priceless
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
home. puking in laundry basket.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
My legs feel like baby dolphins
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Fucked a DJ on a jetski today... I love florriidaaa!
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