Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
I'm eating tomato paste and drinking banana juice that is expired. Can we please get groceries tonight?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
She gatecrashed the wedding and managed to get an invite to the open bar reception. Lucky bitch
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
