Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
I think his glow in the dark Star Wars sheets, at the time, really turned me on.
i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
Sustenance and doggy style.. the only two things I need
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