She announced her abortion via fbk
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
just once i'd like to actually BE there for your crazy drunk stories instead of just getting the play-by-play by people who can't remember half of it
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
I was literally so lonely last night that I stopped watching a video on porn hub and just read the comments
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
