I want to stick my p in your. b.
Me too!
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
