So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
You need to stop texting me at SEVEN in the morning. It wakes my one night stands up and makes for the awkward talk way too early.
i need a shirt that says "I fuck trainwrecks"
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
2015 is the year I FINALLY ALMOST had enough dick to satisfy me.
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
