Miracle whip is the devil's jizz.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
don't tell me I don't love her. i once slept with my girlfriends therapist, just to find out if she was cheating on me.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
Um so I might have accidentally on accident maybe blew up the bottom half of your truck...
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
