I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Man, I want to make his penis a sandwich.
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
It wasnt until i started dancing that i realized i pissed myself dude. I dont think shes gonna call me back.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
look, im sorry that i yelled at your little brother, threw my car keys at him and smashed a stale cookie with a pool cue, but i swear to god i didn't poop on the floor. it was one of your dogs.
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