i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
Hahahaha yep. You were picking up the credit card machine and singing to it in Spanish.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize
