So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
Come over, we're having a tea party. And by a tea party I mean we're drinking whiskey from tea cups.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
Favorite thing said to me in 2012: It's like you have two tongues!
Were you keeping a list?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
Just cried to my husband about how much I'm going to miss my boyfriend... Maybe marriage is going to work for me after all
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
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