Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
Was waiting for the adderal to kick in then realized I had been brushing my teeth for eighteen minuites
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
So, I actually said the words "but face tattoos are sexy"
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
okay i know we havent talked for like weeks but i just really wanted to tell you that i miss your dick. like alot.
whose this? and thank you
Randomize
