And. No one ejaculated on anyones face. This is all wrong
She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
If you try to operate on me with a Bic pen and vodka, I'm never talking to you again
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Look at the picture I MADE him take with me...like why??? He's holding my foot?
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Man it shouldn't be possible to get mad while you're stoned. I feel like ive broken one of the laws of physics
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
Randomize