Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
Have you been tested recently?
Well I got my shots when I was a baby so I think I'm immune
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
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