Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
All i remember is you yelling at a stop sign and the rest is a blur
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
I pour the whiskey from now on
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
