dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
I'm so pissed my boobs hit the emergency stop button during my workout
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
