Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
Bank of America texted me 7 times in 12 hours to say my balance was below $50. I kept transfering money back in. Then I texted my bank saying that it was okay, i knew what I was doing.
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
i was so worried that when his hands were down my pants he was going to find the weed i stole from him
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
Drunk. Come get me. Out front blue shirt.
Where are you? And you borrowed my shirt. I know what you're wearing. How wasted are you?
Hotel
WHICH HOTEL??
Randomize
