I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I think I need a restraining order. I had 15 "selfies" of him on my camera roll......my phone has a lock code on it.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He's the one named Andrew. In his profile picture he is the one on the right in the monkey costume.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
