The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
If you fool around, take the WHITE sweatshirt off of her first. It's mine, and I don't like your cum nearly as much as she does.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
girl I've been sleeping with this summer as per her request just gave me a carton of cigs to thank me for my "hospitality". this is good.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
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