so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
omg a stripper jus od'd on stage.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
