All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I spit up blood this morning
That's vegas.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I would sacrifice a finger for two more hours of sleep.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Randomize