in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
I just used FaceTime as a look out while I got a blowjob in the library
Okay I can't even be mad, I'm in mid-plot to hook up with Michael Phelp's third cousin.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Randomize
