The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
yea I went to the store high again.. I think we're having pie for dinner.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
Randomize
