Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Michelle Duggar likes to fuuuuck
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
dude you had a hot girl interested and took shots together, as soon as it went down the hatch you upchucked on her entire existance..
successful birthday. 2012 rules
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
