She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
i just funneled a beer through a mask n snorkel.. can you check that off my bucket list..
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
Happy Halloween!! Last Halloween we spent together you got brought home in a shopping cart
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Randomize
