I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
I remember why I come home for the holidays. Sam Adams is the cheapest beer in the fridge
Don't leave without me in the morning. I keep scaring everyone cause I'm sleeping in the bathtub.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
I imagine anything that isn't a dilldo attached to a jackhammer, powered by a generator won't be amazing enough for you
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
On my way to the DMV to get arrested
Post walk of shame: realized the underwear I put on when I left was another girl's underwear.... woof
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
She slapped a big dramatic bandage on my arm and people started buying me drinks...I plan on wearing a full body cast tomorrow night.
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
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