I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
do you think they ever dumped Gatorade over Michael Vick's head after his dog won?
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
dude relax anyone of us could have gotten that girl pregnant
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
i feel like his penis is a security blanet. i cant fall asleep unless its in my hand
He's. Duct. Taping. His. Phone. To. The. Wall.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize