It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Talking to a male stripper. About the LSAT. Only in Vegas.
Yeah we can't find him. He left a note saying he left and isn't that drunk with what appears to be an attempt at the quadratic formula for proof. He also wrote down his number and left his phone by the note
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize