Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
she just uttered the sweetest sentence in the english language...my stripper friends are coming over
Just bought a disco ball for 5 dollars, of course we're drinking tonight.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is the high leading the old right now
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
