The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
And really all I wanted was to be like "hey can I borrow your dick for a few hours this weekend?"
I would just like to point out that someone I had sex with drove me so I could have sex with you. I deserve some type of "most loyal booty call ever" award.
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
Good news. His dicks gotten wayy bigger since high school. I love Thanksgiving break.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
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