Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
I want to break up with him.....but he has a george forman grill...like I need that
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Yo I found your batman costume.... It was in my pool with a shitload of beer cans
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I know. I'm a saint. Saint of sitting on faces.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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