and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
not sure if I should be concerned that my brother just stormed into my room and looked at me with a serious face and said, "I'm a peacock, you have to let me fly." oh, vicodin...
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
What drink are we having for lunch?
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
Randomize
