there's a guy here who looks like a hipster got a hold of obama and gave him a makeover.
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
EVERYONE IS SPEAKING SPANISH. I ONLY KNOW HOLA.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
I went to BBQ fest on Wednesday and came home wearing a different shirt, so I think I did some good damage.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
