They told me I stole 50 buns and a bottle of mayo and would whisper in their ears to look under my shirt to see what was for breakfast... benefit of starting to drink at 9 am
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I am a delicate flower. A fucked up, drunk, horny, pants pissing, delicate little flower.
I want to start a guest book for my bed room so when dudes leave they can write a review
We need to feng shui this bitch.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
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