I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
He came in my eye, I lost my earring and all of his friends saw me topless. Happy New Year to you as well.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
When I picked you up, you were drinking Maker's Mark out of the bottle with a crazy straw.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
I think he may actually care that I call him slampiece instead of his real name. Who knew he had feelings?
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
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