i messed up with two guys last night...one i pranked and left the phone on..the other one i went crazy on trying to be his girlfriend after four jagermeister shots...
just had dinner with my dad's new gf and her daughter.. had to drink a beer to get through it.. she's 19 she has on a disney watch and snowflake earrings
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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