i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
his penis is PERFECT
I want to put it in a shoebox and place cottonbls around it to protect it from any harm
or knit it little hat
there's unknown territories my dick was not made to discover
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
My mom just told me the story of how she met my dad through prison. How was your saturday?
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
Like sorry you chose to have an attractive girlfriend dude
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
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