So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
what the fuck a piece of candy corn just came out of her nose
I found them on a couch next to the sidewalk screaming at cars with a megaphone. Kevin chased the mailman with a jello shot.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
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