Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
you strike me as the kind of person who when they spill something on their lap they take off their pants and eat it anyways. right off the crotch seam.
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I got a text saying, "It's so great to throw tomatoes at seagulls."
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
Until you've snorted cocaine at 6am before your nursing school clinicals birthing babies you're not on my level
Randomize
