508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Fucked a kid by the name of your hometown tonight... FOR THE WIN.. BF4L
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
Randomize
