Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
When the hubs wants to wear his training mask during sex and pretend to be Bane you just go with it.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
Randomize
