After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
if it makes u feel better, i skipped class so i could go to a sex convention in jersey a few hours earlier than if i went to class.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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