I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
You played "let it burn" by usher 28 times, knocked over the 36 gallon fish tank, and passed out in the kitchen. Yeah...That drunk.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
I just explained it as we hate everyone in the world more then we hate each other. Thus making us friends. Plus we drink...a lot
I think drinking is the foundation of our friendship
So it finally happened last night... I re-met someone that i've already had sex with. Had no idea who he was. Fantastic
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
