No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She said she's saving anal for marriage cuz she has to save something for her husband...seriously just caught myself lookin at rings.
why is there a clump of hair nailed to my wall?
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
While looking for an apartment, I've realized that the way I rate balconies is on the "how easy would it be to smoke weed here" scale.
What other scale is there?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
