i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Just bought an airhorn. Bad things will happen.
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
As a fat white girl from Texas I can honestly say that she gave fat white girls from Texas a bad name.
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize